You thought Alaska was some kind of free-for-all no-rules paradise, where you could just ride an ice floe to your polling place and elect whomever you want to be governor? Think again! As 18-year-old Mikey Poland learned, that's illegal. (Well, the ice floe part is—you can still vote for as many idiots as you want.) Poland and some friends were "jumping on ice" on the Chena River over the weekend when Poland hopped onto a 10' x 15' piece that had broken off and was floating in the river. His friends, responsible till the end, gave him a milk crate to sit on and a cooler lid to use as a paddle; Poland floated downriver about a quarter mile before getting hung up. After being rescued by the fire department, he was immediately cuffed and charged with "disorderly conduct for creating a hazardous condition for the firefighters who rescued him." He didn't fight the charges, and was sentenced to "days in jail with all 10 suspended, 50 hours of community service," and a $100 fine. [AP]