Who Shot Bin Laden? Some Guy With a 'Flat Tummy'

On the Day After Dead Bin Laden Day, America woke up and asked: "Who was the anonymous heroic machine gun-wielder who personally pulled the trigger to shoot the bullet into the bad man we dislike?" Let's inventory what we know:

WHAT WE KNOW: It was a Navy SEAL.

WHAT WE DON'T KNOW: Everything else.

Not to worry, childlike Americans desperate for hero worship! The Washington Post tracked down some real live former Navy SEALS to indulge in some pure (informed) speculation. The shooter was probably a white male aged 26-33! He's probably "humble," with "gnarled" hands, and "bearded, rough-looking, like a street urchin." And yes ladies, he has abs!

Marcinko puts it in more conventional terms: "He'll be ripped," says the author of the best-selling autobiography " Rogue Warrior ." "He's got a lot of upper-body strength. Long arms. Thin waist. Flat tummy."

That is all that America needs to know.

[WaPo. Photo via]