Beyonce Couldn't Walk Up the Stairs Because Her Dress Was Too Tight

Beyonce's dress isn't ready for her jelly. January Jones shows off her baby bump. Confederate flag enthusiast Kid Rock gets an award from the NAACP. Charlie Sheen hangs out amid "rotting food." Here's your Tuesday gossip.

  • Last night at the Metropolitan Museum of Art Costume Institute Gala, Beyonce's gown was so tight, she needed two people to drag her up the stairs. I'm guessing that means she didn't partake in the wild dancing at Nur Khan's "unofficial pre-party," where two of her back-up dancers had a dance-off while Fergie and Gisele Bundchen shook their jellies nearby. Wouldn't a dance party mess up their red carpet outfits, though? New live-in-the-moment motto: "Dance like nobody is going to stand two feet away from Anna Wintour at the Met Costume Institute Gala, ashamed of your rumpled garments and pit stains, five minutes from now." [Us, P6]
  • "One of Sheen's stops was at a destroyed Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant. He walked through the rubble amid the pungent odor of rotting food, and left through an opening in what had been a walk-in freezer." Do those sentences about describe (a.) Charlie Sheen's humanitarian trip to tornado-stricken Tuscaloosa (b.) Charlie Sheen's latest Violent Torpedo of Truth show (c.) Another porn star party? [AP]
  • Beyonce Couldn't Walk Up the Stairs Because Her Dress Was Too TightJanuary Jones showed her baby bump in public, but we still don't know whose paternal DNA is in her womb full of secrets. Us says Jan's desire for a baby "drove a wedge" between her and ex-boyfriend Jason Sudeikis, but "if Jason were the dad, he'd step it up," so maybe not him? [Us, image via WENN]
  • Worst ex-husband in America Jesse James has taken "full accountability" for cheating on Sandra Bullock with a bunch of tattooed strippers who specialize in neo-Nazi fetish porn: "Everything got ripped to shreds. I was at my breaking point." So he went to rehab is "moving forward, thinking clearly, and becoming a better person… I have started life over." His three ex-wives probably wish he came to these realizations a little sooner, but at least he's trying? [People]
  • Mel Gibson got cozy with a "skinny young brunette" at a club, thereby proving that there is at least one woman on the planet who is still willing to talk to him. [E!]
  • Jon Hamm "caressed" Zach Galifianakis' belly at the White House Correspondents Dinner. All the kinky shit always goes down at the New Yorker table. [P6]
  • Beyonce Couldn't Walk Up the Stairs Because Her Dress Was Too TightRick Springfield was arrested for a DUI, and blew a 0.10 and 0.08 on the blood alcohol thingamabob. The mugshot reveals that, at age 61, Rick is looking pretty good! I mean, disheveled and like he's going to burst into boozy tears at any minute, but if you weren't familiar with "Jessie's Girl," you might see this guy and think he was a rough 36 or something. [Radar]
  • Speaking of arrests overshadowed by fish-food corpse of the world's worst terrorist, Flava Flav got pulled over for a traffic violation, and now has to face four outstanding warrants for other automotive violations. Oops. [NYDN]
  • Dancing with the Stars has been "great" for Kendra Wilkinson's sex life: "Right after the dance tonight we walked over to Hank [Baskett] and he said, 'Honey! I didn't know you could do the splits!" She continues: "If you come to my trailer after this you may see it moving back and forth. I'm definitely bringing the splits into the bedroom tonight!'" This girl was born to be the star of the Age of TMI. [Us]
  • Four days after his wedding, Prince William was ordered to go back to work as a search-and-rescue pilot with the Royal Air Force. The honeymoon will come later. I mean, when you're going to be King of England some day, your entire life could be a honeymoon if you wanted it to be, right? [NYDN]
  • Kid Rock, a man who uses the Confederate flag as a backdrop at concerts, received a Detroit NAACP Great Expectations Award. A bunch of people protested. Quoth Mr. Rock, "I love America, I love Detroit, and I love black people." No one ever accused him of great eloquence. [RollingStone]
  • Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon are renewing their vows again. Apparently they must renew them every year, on the date of every wedding anniversary, except when Mariah schedules the birth of her children for their wedding anniversary, in which case they can wait a few days, and then renew them later. Most anniversary-obsessed couple ever. [NYDN]