Celebrity Wife Swap Is the Latest Nadir of American Television

It's been said of many a reality television show before, but might Celebrity Wife Swap finally destroy us? Also today: Snow White finds her prince, Project Runway brings back some old friends, and, what's this, NBC might actually have a popular show??

  • Everyone have their celestial suitcases packed? Everyone's doors been blooded? OK, good, because the Lord is coming to take us away any minute now. I mean, we've got to be almost done here on Earth, right? Now that ABC has decided to go ahead and make their own version of the British series Celebrity Wife Swap? I'll be over here loading the shotguns and counting the cans of food while you ponder that one. Here's something else to think about while I booby trap the backyard to protect us from the inevitable marauding hordes of cannibal death cults: Victoria Jackson, SNL star turned gay hating anti-Glee crusader, has intimated that she has been approached to be on the show. Watch her get swapped with, like, Ed Begley's wife or something. Hm. OK. Wait. So, don't attack me with that chainsaw that you're (wisely) gassing up right now, but doesn't that sound kind of really entertaining? I mean, at least we'll have something to stupidly distract us while all around us the Great Fires start, only to be put out by the flesh-burning sulfuric rains. At least we'll have entertainment. Good luck, everyone! See you on the other side. [Deadline]
  • Whoa, maybe the world really is ending. I mean, wasn't NBC having a hit show one of the signs that grizzled, toothless old prophet warned us about? And it really does look like they have a hit show. Their reality singing competition The Voice went up in the ratings last night. Up! From the premiere week! That hasn't happened on NBC since we were all in short pants. Maybe it was a post-bin Laden swell in American singing pride? Maybe people are just mesmerized by the dopey swiveling space chairs? I watched a little of it last night and, I dunno man, I'm still not getting it. No one sings that well and, again, the chair thing is so deeply silly. But, oh well. Good for NBC! Maybe this is what that old crone in that abandoned town out in the desert meant when she threw those bones on the ground and pointed to them and said "Peacock.... Peacock..." At the time we thought they were peacock bones, but maybe not! Maybe she knew. Maybe we're all gonna die after all. [Vulture]
  • Speaking of reality shows, Lifetime has announced that they will be doing an all-star season of the Project Runway, the fashion design reality show they poached from Bravo about two years back. Lifetime did a one-off all-star thing to kick off their run of the series, but this new one will be an actual eight-episode mini season. Which is kind of fun! Maybe Lifetime was taking a cue from the success its still-cooler gay brother had with their recent thoroughly entertaining Top Chef All-Stars season. Whatever the reasons, it could be exciting. Kara Saun! Santino! Horrible cat-throwing Kenley! All our old friends from that show I stopped watching like three seasons ago. I kinda miss you, old buddy. [EW]
  • Aha! Our prince has come. Universal has gone and cast this young boombalottie [NSFW] as the prince in their Snow White and the Huntsman. His name is Sam Claflin and he was in that Pillars of the Earth series and will soon be seen in the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie. He joins Charlize Theron as the wicked queen and Kristen Stewart as Snow White. And, as we found out recently, Chris Hemsworth might play the Huntsman. So here's hoping the prince sees Snow White two-timing him with those ratty old dwarfs and runs into the Huntsman's big strong arms for comfort. That's likely to happen, right? [Deadline]
  • On the topic of fairytale-type things, Rachel Weisz has been cast as the evil witch Evanora in Sam Raimi's Wizard of Oz prequel The Great and Powerful Oz, starring Mila Kunis and James Franco. Weisz will play the bad sister tries to entice good sister Kunis to be, uh, wicked with her. So it's basically Wicked without the music and with James Franco. Sounds good. And who doesn't love Rachel Weisz? Seriously, that's just a likable lady. So, I approve, everyone! I know you were waiting on that to continue production, so there you have it. [THR]
  • After what I'm sure was a grueling round of auditions, Kelly Preston has landed the role of Victoria Gotti in the gangster biopic that, wow, I didn't even think of this, how funny, stars her husband/captor John Travolta! What a small world. Amazing how things like that happen. [Radar]
  • America's favorite tamed gay Neil Patrick Harris will return to New York to host the Tony Awards this year. So what do we think? Five Spider-Man jokes per minute? Ten?? It's going to be a lot, is what I'm saying. Fingers crossed that Brett Michaels gets eaten by the set again. Sorry, but that was... Well, the greatest moment in theater history. [Deadline]
  • Comedy Central has renewed their series Workaholics, a show I have never heard of let alone seen, for a second season. It apparently stars three dudes who live and work together and do dudely things. My guess is that the girl characters are either hotties or perpetually exasperated cute attainable girls. But who knows! I don't aim to find out. He said smugly. [THR]
  • When you see the headline "Fox Plans 3D Glee Movie With Original Cast" your blood runs cold. The sky seems to turn a sickly yellow, mysterious, faraway dogs begin to bark. It is a very bad feeling! But then you read on and see that, phew, it's just a concert movie of the Glee tour that they do in the summrahtime. It'll only be in theaters for a few weeks, like the Miley Cyrus or Jonas Brothers concert movies. So it's OK. We're all OK. We just might all be OK. [Deadline]