Is your pediatrician trying to take away your gun? (Probably!) You should move to Florida, where a new law would prevent pediatricians from asking about guns in the home. Thanks, NRA, for telling doctors what they can, and can't, do.
See, pediatricians hate guns, because they kill kids, and pediatricians (allegedly) love kids. What they don't understand is that guns are a lot more interesting than kids, because kids will never make anyone's head explode, and they make poor substitutes for penises. Luckily for gun-loving Floridians, their state's courageous NRA has stood up against the radical pro-kid agenda of pediatricians:
"We take our children to pediatricians for medical care — not moral judgment, not privacy intrusions," [NRA lobbyist Marion Hammer] says.
NRA lobbyists helped write a bill that largely bans health professionals from asking about guns. Hammer says she and other NRA members consider the questions an intrusion on their Second Amendment rights.
"This bill is about helping families who are complaining about being questioned about gun ownership, and the growing anti-gun political agenda being carried out in examination rooms by doctors and staffs," Hammer says.
The bill has been passed by the Florida legislature, and is expected to be signed into law by Governor Rick Scott this week. Pediatrician Louis St. Petery (what is he, French?!) claims that doctors ask about guns — as well as bike helmets, seat belts, and pools — as part of what they call "anticipatory guidance." (Where's the NRA of pools on this one?) But why would doctors want to "guide" their patients, except to invade their privacy and make moral judgments? Next thing you know, doctors will be asking about your sleep habits, and what you're eating — but in Florida, they'll never ask about your guns.