Cyberdick Pleads Guilty to Being a Dick

Internet asshole Vitaly Borker — who bullied people into leaving negative online feedback about his bootleg sunglasses business to boost his Google search ranking — pleaded guilty in court yesterday to being an asshole, as well as to mail and wire fraud. His excuse for threatening people with sexual assault for tangling with him online: "I was answering personally about 100 e-mails a day and lost control of what I was saying at times." Ok.

Borker is expected to be sentenced to somewhere around five years in jail in September, and we're sure his excuse of being frustrated from answering emails will reflect well on him in front of the judge.