Two Inadvisable Ways to Handle an Argument

Yesterday, a New York City hot dog vendor celebrated Friday the 13th—both the day and the horror film—by slashing up a rival vendor's face. Though "authentic," slashing your competitor isn't an effective marketing strategy in the long run.

Apparently, the slashing victim has been attending to his grill when suddenly the alleged attacker, fellow "bun hustler" Azmy Mansour, showed up with his dirty mouth and his razor and initiated a turf war:

"The guy left his cart and said, 'F—king move, mother f—ker!' " said Mohammed, who helplessly watched the escalating horror.

"My brother said, 'I have a lawyer — this is legal.' He said 'F—k you! F—k your lawyer!' "

Currently the victim's in stable condition at a local hospital, and except for any PTSD-related issues will probably be okay. Meanwhile, cops say Mansour has been charged with assault and criminal possession of a weapon, and maybe retooling his business plan ("do more social media outreach, get rid of razors").

Experts tell the New York Post that vendor feuds rarely come to blows or bloodshed, so food trucks probably won't fall prey to America's fast food violence epidemic—which is not actually real anyway, so please disregard the following as a fluke incident: Earlier this week in Oklahoma City, a worker at a Sonic (home of the beloved pancake on a stick) got a little over-excited and shoved his colleague into an oven.

Shoving, like slashing, is no way to resolve a workplace dispute. Always better to leave the fighting up to the patrons.

[NY Post; image via Getty]