Former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee won't run for president! The Fox News host, who led in several polls released over the last few months, said it was a "spiritual decision," which we think means he used a Ouija board.
Huckabee had announced earlier in the week that he was going to make a special announcement on his show on Saturday night, leading to speculation that Huckabee would re-sign with the Cavaliers. Instead, he had foreign policy expert Ted Nugent and Saved by the Bell star Mario Lopez on the show, and told everyone that he wouldn't run for president. And Donald Trump was there, too! Trump showed up at the end to... talk. (So, in this scenario, Nugent is War, Huckabee is Famine, Trump is Pestilence and Mario Lopez is — as he was on Saved by the Bell — Death.)
Despite being a social conservative, Huckabee shared with liberals a sense of economic populism and an irrational hatred of Natalie Portman; he would have won the Iowa caucuses easily and could have taken the entire nomination. But running for president — not to mention being president — is unhealthy, stress-inducing hard work with tons of responsibility and low pay. Being a Fox News host, not quite so much.