Last year, the Cannes Film Festival's designated troublemaker was Lindsay Lohan, who eventually ended up in jail for her probation-violating week of debauchery. With LiLo cleaning up her act stateside this year, who will be our party hearty ambassador to Cannes?
How about Michelle Rodriguez? She looked a mess wandering out of a Cannes nightclub barefoot at 5AM this morning. [Image via Splash]
Michelle is everything we wish LiLo was, anyway. Like Lindsay, Michelle once wore an alcohol-monitoring anklet with panache. Unlike LiLo, she didn't set it off every five minutes. That was just depressing. [Image via Splash]
And, whereas Lindsay flirts with occasion queerness, Michelle might actually be a lesbian. Or, as Michelle herself points out, she might be into bestiality! Either way, she brings diversity to Hollywood's trainwreck class.
Before she partied her ass off, Michelle partied with her ass out at a Cannes resort. Sometimes you just can't be bothered to hike your bikini back up. If you can't handle Michelle Rodriguez's butt crack, that's your problem. [Image via Bauer-Griffin]
Most importantly, whereas LiLo's messiness had an air of desperation to it, Michelle looks like she's having fun.
For this, we officially dub Michelle Rodriguez the Party Monster of Cannes. May her nights be long, her drinks strong, and may she don neither bikini bottom nor thong. [Image via INF]