As the gossip hurricane rages on, Maria Shriver stands brave and resolute with her friend Oprah. Meanwhile, the Grammers are having a custody dispute, a Tiger Woods mistress is telling stories, and Kirk Cameron is not Stephen Hawking.
- It seems that Maria Shriver, jilted soon-to-be-ex-wife of Austrian giant Arnold Schwarzenegger, was at Oprah's final show taping. And apparently she made some pointed comment about Bastardgate? Guess so:
She even made a slight dig at her cheating spouse, noting to Winfrey: "You have shown love, support, wisdom, and most of all," she said, with a big, meaningful pause, "the truth."
Oh you go, girl! Does anyone say that anymore? Doesn't matter, because I just did. You go, Maria Shriver. You go all the way to the Kennedy compound and have the gin-soakiest summer of your life! [Us]
- Uh oh! Ex-marrieds Camille and Kelsey Grammer, she of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and he of tossed salads and scrambled eggs, are fighting over their children. He wants full custody (granting Camille time with the children half of their summers and winter breaks) but she's not going down without a fight (or without a piece of jewelry or something). Friends close to Camille say "She will fight like hell to keep her children with her, being raised by her, exactly where the children wish to be." Camille has four nannies for her three children, something I'd just like to mention for mentioning's sake. I dunno. Child custody. Ugh. I can't help but coldly feel like this has more to do with child support payments than anything else. Anyway. There that is. [People]
- Here's a cheery story. Some rando who went to the prom with future rando Jessica Alba is now hawking his story to TMZ and trying to promote some sad website. Yeah, they broke up 13 years ago, but whatever, why not stagger, farting and weeping, up to some sad website with your hands out, begging for attention anyway? His website is all about helping people mediate relationship disputes so they don't break up and then one of them becomes famous and the other one feels sad and lonely sometimes and spends hours driving around the city seeing how many billboards she's on today, then pulling over to the side of the road and weeping and farting some more as they eat their Del Taco dinner and this cold, dreary world spins on. This website will stop that all from happening. It could even fix the past! Right? Right? [TMZ]
- Rachel Uchitel, one of the ladies who profited off of sleeping with Tiger Woods and a graduate of the prestigious Celebrity Rehab Institute for Existential Angst, is reportedly (well, she reports, anyway) going to be the star of her own reality show, one that follows her around in her new career as a private investigator. Yes, because that makes heaps of sense. "Rick, do you think we're being followed to this seedy motel where we plan to cheat on our spouses?" "Well, unless that camera crew surrounding that woman who's taking photographs of us is anything, I think we're in the clear, Joann." Good thinking, everyone. Hm? What's that? This is all made-up bullshit so Rachel Uchitel can get a little story in Page Six? And now, apparently, Gawker.com? Aha. OK. Ya got me again, whatever your name is. [P6]
- Oh god. There's nothing funny to say about this, but, Jennifer Aniston's dog died. Yeah, her beloved Norman, a corgi mix, was 15. Ugh. That's sad. This may be sadder? But it's still sad. Sigh. [People]
- Noted theologian (and actor) Kirk Cameron has fired back at Stephen Hawking's recent claim that heaven is a "fairy story for people afraid of the dark." (I'm pretty sure there was one a fairy story on Are You Afraid of the Dark?, just saying. There were at least definitely some fairies on Are You Afraid of the Dark?.) Cameron says that Hawking believes that the universe sprang from nothing, and is therefore wrong, and therefore heaven is real. So they're both right and wrong, in a way. What's most important about this article is seeing TMZ commenters call Stephen Hawking "a idiot." A Brief History Of Good Grief! Also, Kirk Cameron is a ridiculous ninny. [TMZ]
- Andy Samberg and the rest of the Lonely Island crew have, in conjunction with the release of their new comedy album, signed on as "creative directors" for a vodka company. It's called Diageo's Rokk Vodka, so only one of those is a word. Apparently the vodka name appears in their new songs so people thought it was a silly joke (rappers, vodka, etc) but it's not! It's real. Oh well. [P6]
- A happy note to end on. One of the fathers on 16 & Pregnant, a 19-year-old fellow named Joshua Drummonds, is currently in the Michigan clink for forging a check from his own mom for thirty measly dollars. Well, he's allegedly stolen a total of $270 from his mom, but the one he got busted on was for $30. What's this, then? Drugs? Money for the video arcade? I hope it's the latter. Please just once let it be the video arcade and not stupid, stupid drugs. Wasn't this kid a real jerk on his season? Am I remembering this correctly? What a mess. What a dump. Happy Wednesday. [TMZ]
[Photo via Getty]