Be Scared: Dick Cheney's Memoir Due in August

America's most huggable teddy bear, Dick Cheney, has been working on his memoirs from his CIA-bunker house ever since leaving office. It should have been on bookstore shelves for a year or so by now, former vice president's rather serious heart problems got in the way. But now that's all over! In My Time: A Personal and Political Memoir will hit shelves on August 30, so grab your sleeping bags and head over to the nearest bookstore entrance now.

Cheney's book is co-written by his clone daughter Liz, who tells the Associated Press that In My Time shows off her father's "sense of storytelling and sense of humor." Yikes! Did you hear the one about the guy hanging from his thumbs in an isolated prison cell in Cuba? He ate— well, we'll let Dick finish this one, but it's a classic.

[Images via AP/Amazon.com]