Tonight marks Katie Couric's final broadcast as the anchor of CBS Evening News. It's the end of a well-intentioned but fruitless experiment. Sad. Sadder still, Katie still doesn't officially have a new job lined up. That's what friends are for!
We know how much it sucks to be between jobs, with nothing to do but sit by the phone and wait for Jeff Zucker to fucking call you already. So as fellow members of the occasionally-employed media underclass, we'd like to offer you a gig while you wait for something better to come along.
Position: Gawker blogger (entry-level)
Duties: You write things on the internet. For example, you probably know some funny stories about people on TV, right? You can write those. "Ten Smelliest People on TV." That idea is free. "That Sarah Palin Interview: The Behind the Scenes Sexy True Story." That idea just cost you five bucks. Always work Palin in there, somehow. Do that and you'll be fine.
Beat: It makes sense to put you on the media beat. But that's my beat, so fuck off. How about "entertainment?" Does news count as entertainment? Boom, you just got an idea for a "think piece." That'll be another five bucks.
Salary: You can't expect to just waltz in and make what you were making before. This is the internet!
I suggest you accept this offer before Oprah does.
[Photo via Getty]