Man Takes Box of Sand on Romantic River Cruise

The 32-year-old man who got drunk, wrapped chain around his neck, got into a life raft with a big black box of sand, and floated down the James River is not a terrorist. That much we know.

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What remains a mystery: why the man was wrapped in chains, or what role the box of sand played in his intoxicated river ride. Is the sand a metaphor for time slipping away from us? Was the man trying to contain time in a box, in order to prevent the Rapture from happening? And why had he chained himself to the box of sand; does he believe he's involved in a codependent relationship with the beach?

A crab fisherman who discovered the rafter and his sand asked about the chains, but apparently the man was in no state to provide definitive answers. He says he was troubled by the box, which like many boxes reportedly "looked dangerous at first":

"I didn't know he was laying on top of a bomb or a box of drugs or money or what, and you know instead of answering questions, he reached underneath of himself and I didn't know what he was going to grab, so I had my crew and everybody there so I just backed away," said [the crabber].

The sandman is now under medical observation, and still hasn't made any terrorist threats. But his box of sand has, and will now be sent to Guantanamo Bay.

[WAVY]