Sarah Palin Has Made a Feature Length Film About Herself

Well, well, well. It seems Sarah Palin is delving into the motion picture business! And her first, but hopefully not last, production will be about an Alaskan governor who quit her job halfway through her first term to make money. Behold The Undefeated, Palin's top secret film project that will debut in Iowa next month.

Like any good grifter, Palin was able to trick someone else into paying for this elaborate dystopian propaganda. Conservative filmmaker Stephen K. Bannon, according to RealClearPolitics, "insisted upon taking complete control and financing it himself — to the tune of $1 million." And now all that's left is the marketing blitz:

The result is a two-hour-long, sweeping epic, a rough cut of which Bannon screened privately for Sarah and Todd Palin last Wednesday in Arizona, where Alaska's most famous couple has been rumored to have purchased a new home. When it premieres in Iowa next month, the film is poised to serve as a galvanizing prelude to Palin's prospective presidential campaign — an unconventional reintroduction to the nation that she and her political team have spent months eagerly anticipating, even as Beltway Republicans have largely concluded that she won't run.

Oh my god. And yes, of course it's going to focus on the victimization and self-pity of Sarah Palin, who frequently has been made fun of on some television comedy shows.

To convey Bannon's view of the pathology behind Palin-hatred, the film begins with a fast-paced sequence of clips showing some of the prominent celebrities who have used sexist, derogatory and generally vicious language to describe her.

Rosie O'Donnell, Matt Damon, Bill Maher, David Letterman, and Howard Stern all have brief cameos before comedian Louis C.K. goes off on a particularly ugly anti-Palin riff.

"I hate her more than anybody," C.K. says at the end of his tirade, the rest of which is unfit to print here.

Bannon intends to release two versions of the film. An unrated edition will contain some obscene anti-Palin language and imagery, while the other is targeted to a general audience and will seek a PG-13 rating from the Motion Picture Association of America.

It's a shame they couldn't get this ready in time for Cannes, is all.

[Image via Getty]