Another day, another alarming finding about America's complete lack of core strength. A new report points to a possible culprit for our nation's ongoing descent into blob-dom: our cushy, chair-bound jobs. Does this mean you're doomed?
The key issue is this: "Jobs requiring moderate physical activity, which accounted for 50 percent of the labor market in 1960, have plummeted to just 20 percent." Millions of people who, a half century ago, were delivering milk bottles and decapitating chickens and doing mathematical calculations by moving around heavy stones now find themselves relegated to office work, as computers have taken over all the jobs. Must we all sit idly by whilst our bones turn to Jell-o? No! It's still possible to stay fit in the modern lackadaisical work environment.
- Jiggle your feet around and fidget all day. This actually keeps you slim, TRUE FACT.
- Also drum your fingers on the desk constantly. Good for dexterity.
- And sing up-tempo songs at your desk as much as possible. Keep that energy up!
- Engaging your co-workers in a lunchtime Zumba session? Tell them to thank you later!
- Instead of sitting lazily at your desk sending IMs to people right in your office, sprint over to their desk and tell them what you need to say. Then, sprint back.
- Walk on your hands all day.
- Instead of "business lunches," no lunches.
Or just be a day laborer. You're not qualified for your job, anyhow.