Palin Victorious at Gettysburg, Pushes Deeper into Union Territory

History suggests that Sarah Palin's Bus Army would be stopped and forced into retreat by lamestream media forces at Gettysburg, Pennsylvania, making it her furthest incursion into the Yankee North and the turning point for the larger war effort. But alas, the cowardly reporters have allowed Palin to slip through their lines and continue her march towards the munitions port at Philadelphia.

The poor CNN reporter tasked with chasing Sarah Palin's gaudy bus around Pennsylvania's battlefields explains his failure to do that this morning:

Sarah Palin pulled a clever bait and switch on reporters in Gettysburg on Tuesday, as her "One Nation" bus tour rolls into its third day.

The Palin family and a few members of her staff sneaked out of their hotel early, leaving their flashy bus behind in the hotel parking lot to give reporters chasing her the impression that she was still readying for the day.

As members of Palin's advance staff began to roll out luggage to the bus on Tuesday morning, a crush of media and tourists gathered to meet the potential presidential candidate on her way out of the hotel.

But CNN was soon tipped off that Palin was long gone, off to visit the Civil War battlefields and onward toward Philadelphia.

Ah yes, the old Mount Vernon shake-and-bake. Has anyone trained these reporters?

Philadelphia should be an easy take for Palin. What defense can a town of cobblers, German leather workers, and malnourished fishmongers really maintain? Once that's secured, however, the path becomes less clear. Perhaps New York City, the old Dutch trading post.

[Image via AP]