Tangerine-dipped social construct Donald Trump took some heat from The Daily Show and others for stacking his two slices of pizza and eating them with a fork and knife on a recent jaunt to a Broadway chain restaurant with the Palin family. This provided a perfect opening for Trump to issue a public explanation and keep the controversy aflame for another few hours.
Trump is a master at re-framing stupid questions about his personal habits with dodgy responses that require simpler follow-ups. In the clip up top, live from The Desk of Donald Trump, he carefully responds to the question of why he ate his pizza with a plastic knife and fork. His answer? He doesn't carry his own knife and fork with him! See what he did there?
Also, knives and forks allow him to separate "the top" of the pizza from the crust, which is helpful, because eating the crust would make him a fatty. But as plenty of people with even thicker heads than Donald Trump know, humans are capable of eating pizza with their own hands and then stopping when they reach the crust. There are no secret magnets in the crust that require your mouth to eat it when it comes within a centimeter! Although maybe there are in "New York style" pizza? We'll have to get the interns to run some tests.