Today Oprah acolyte Dr. Oz showed his audience the results of his colonoscopy and it was freaking gross. Not only did Oz's doctor find a pre-cancerous polyp, he also found a colon was full of rice and lentils.

Dr. Oz didn't prepare adequately for his exam, so when Dr. LaPoop (which is actually his doctor's name) put a camera where the sun don't shine, his colon was still full of last night's dinner. And it wasn't enough to describe it to us, but they had to show it, too. It's right there in the video: lentils in Dr. Oz's poop shoot waiting to be shit out. I can't even think about it without wincing. Anyway, it's sort of reassuring to learn that even Dr. Oz is incapable of being a good patient. It makes all of his medical righteousness seem a little bit more human.