Ladies, listen up! By learning how to serve your husbands "better than a first-class prostitute" can, you can help end human trafficking and domestic violence. So say leaders of the Obedient Wives Club, a new activities group whose sex lessons curb social ills and also please God.
The Club, which just opened a new chapter in Malaysia (Jordan's got one, and Indonesia's getting one soon), is an invention of Global Ikhwan Sdn Bhd—an organization made up of ex-members of an Islamic group called Al-Arqam, which scored a hit two years ago with their Ikhwan Polygamy Club. At least 800 women have already joined! Club vice president Dr. Rohaya Mohamad says "good or religious" wives will be mindful of stepping up their sexual game, because it pleases their husbands and, in turn, makes God happier.
According to a Club spokesman, wives who disobey their husbands cause domestic violence—because what the hell is a guy supposed to do, sit there and take it?—and drive men into the comforting embrace of hookers:
Siti Maznah, a 48-year-old mother of five, stressed that husbands would not visit prostitutes if wives gave them a satisfying sex life.
"Wives should welcome them with sexy clothes and alluring smiles in the privacy of their homes," she said.
Wifely disobedience also causes human trafficking, abandonment, cancer, diabetes, premature molding of perishable food items, pinkeye, and gout.
Malaysia's Women, Family and Community Development Minister disagrees with the Club's philosophy, saying that it doesn't reflect "the vast progress made by local Muslim womenfolk." But the minister is a lady, so what does she know.
Also, supposedly there's an anti-OWC Facebook group called "We Do Not Want Sexist Nonsense From Global Ikhwan Sdn Bhd," but we searched and searched and couldn't find it. Maybe the changed their minds after learning that the OWC's membership package includes faster entry into Heaven and a $25 gift certificate to Lululemon. [Malaysia Star, Image by MR Shining via Shutterstock.]