Tribecan patio decorator and ex-IMF chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn will be arraigned Monday on charges related to his alleged attempt to rape a hotel maid, say reports. Sources believe he'll claim that "police irregularities" messed up his arrest. Speaking of that, did you know he was "arrested like a chicken thief?"

That's how one source close to Strauss-Kahn puts it. If you aren't familiar with the expression, it means that the police impounded DSK's Cadillac full of KFC chicken breast filets, "little bucket parfaits," and chocolate chip cakes—or so this story about an alleged chicken thief in Washington state suggests.

So, what will happen tomorrow? Well, DSK will plead innocence, and his lawyers will ask prosecutors for discovery materials, and the French will continue searching their souls. And everyone involved will go "ugh, Mondays—or "ugh, lundis," if they're French—and wish they could have just stayed in bed. Because Mondays are tough, and they're only human. [NY1, Post-Intelligencer, Image via AP]