Snake Oil Salesmen Prove Their Mettle with 'Relaxation' Sodas

Does the thought of buying weed from a drug dealer scare you? Or maybe the thought of inhaling smoke is keeping you from getting so high? Fear not, because you can still get (fake) high on totally legal soda!

So-called "relaxation" sodas have been around for a while, but according to NPR, this "new relaxation rage" is taking the herbal scam market by storm. Eric Shogren of the creatively-named Relaxing Company, makers of Mary Jane's soda (FYI: 'Mary Jane' is a sly reference to marijuana), told NPR of the benefits of his product: "Relaxation drinks are sort of the initial backlash to the energy drink craze. If I'm nervous or if I am having a bad day, I can just crack open a Mary Jane's instead." Spoken like a true salesman.

A long, hard pull from a Mary Jane's soda can help you to deal with the following (via Mary Jane's):

  • Road Rage
  • Job Interview
  • Deadbeat Boyfriends
  • Lousy Girlfriends
  • Public Speaking
  • Now, if Mary Jane's is such a great way to "chill out" and feel like you're high, then why would you ever drink it prior to a public speaking event or a job interview? But it would definitely work to cool tensions during a road rage incident: "Please don't beat me senseless with that tire iron, take a swing of this instead, bro."

    [NPR]