Our long national nightmare of having to hear about Katie Couric's job search seemingly every god damn week for a god damn year is finally over: she's going to ABC, just like everyone knew she would god damn months ago.
She'll have a syndicated daytime talk show and still do news stuff sometimes, too. Fine, fine. The important thing is: no more god damn gossip about her job search, no more god damn speculation on what she'll do next (we called it, btw, thank you), and no more god damn handicapping of who will succeed her at CBS.
Also, Katie, no more god damn job offers to you from us. You really blew this one. You could be writing this post, and saying whatever you want. Oh well. Good luck in daytime TV. We may never lay eyes on you again.