Newt Gingrich Discovered Off the Coast of Greece

The flatfoots at Politico have finally discovered the missing bodies of Newt and Cally Gingrich, somewhere off the rocky shores of Greece and Turkey. The two are still alive, which makes sense, since all they're doing is taking a luxury cruise.

The Gingriches had tried to conceal their location as word leaked out that they were literally taking a vacation after only a few crappy weeks on the presidential campaign trail. But thanks to a loose-lipped poster at an online forum, Politico was able to dig up the itinerary of America's next first couple:

According to an online itinerary, the ship departed from Piraeus, Greece on May 30th and docked in Istanbul, Turkey today, with stops along the way in Mylos, Patmos, Rhodes, and Mykonos. The luxurious 650-foot ship is relatively small by industry standards, with room for just 450 passengers. The company advertises week-long cruises starting at $2,499 per person.

Sounds delightful. But as someone who's taken a similar trip to the region — although not on a luxury liner — I should say that it's a shame they couldn't make it to the lovely isle of Santorini, to visit its volcano and eat rabbits and rent ATVs for leisurely afternoon cruising under the warm Hellenic sun. On the other hand, they were wise to avoid the northern shore of Crete, which in recent years has been conquered by unruly British chavs on "bank holiday."

Anyway, Newt Gingrich should probably get back and continue running for president at some point. Even if it's not as fun as "Caviar in the Surf."

[Image via AP]