Evan Bayh Sucks

Former Democratic Sen. Evan Bayh simply had to resign from Congress last year, as our polarized politics were preventing him from singlehandedly saving the world in his role as a mere public servant. "At this time," as he said in his powerful resignation speech, "I simply believe I can best contribute to society in another way: creating jobs by helping grow a business, helping guide an institution of higher learning, or helping run a worthy charitable endeavor." Got it? He would sacrifice his sizable political power to help America, by creating jobs, giving to charity, and advancing higher education.

That resignation announcement came in February 2010. Let's check in on how the magical, healing hands of the demi-god Evan Bayh are contributing to society nowadays:

  • He is a partner at the corporate lobbying firm McGuire Woods LLP.
  • He is a Senior Advisor to the private equity firm Apollo Global Management.
  • He is the token punching-bag Democrat for Fox News.
  • And now, he has been hired by the omnipotent Chamber of Commerce, where, along with former George W. Bush chief of staff Andy Card, he will be "part of the Chamber's anti-regulation messaging team, doing 'speeches, events, and media appearances at local venues.'"

We all, as Americans, are lucky to have a selfless man on such a towering scale as Evan Bayh to courageously work for the interests of common folk everywhere.

[Image via AP]