Emma Watson Can't Get a Date to Save Her LifeS

Emma Watson's love life is lacking. Lady Gaga'a bodyguard beats up a fan. Suri Cruise's shoe collection is worth $150K. Chris Evans admits he is balding. Wednesday gossip intimidates men.

  • Emma Watson can't get a date: "I say to my friends, 'Why hasn't X called me? Why doesn't anyone ever pursue me?' They're like, 'Probably because they're intimidated.'" Normally "he's just intimidated" is the most annoying single lady bromide in the book, but in Emma's case it may actually be true, particularly when she was trying to hang out with the unwashed masses of Brown University. "It must be my fame wall. It must be the circus that goes around me. Me, as a person, I find it hard to believe I would be intimidating." [Sunday Times via NYDN, image via Getty]
  • Speaking of which, Hermione Granger says she dropped out of Brown because she's too famous: "I wanted to pretend I wasn't as famous as I was. I was trying to seek out normality, but I kind of have to accept who I am, the position I'm in, and what happened." She makes it sound like she's Jaycee Dugard or something. What happened is not your fault, Emma! Shhh, let us hold you. By the way, you busy on Saturday? Just wondering, for a friend. [SundayTimes NYDN]
  • Suri Cruise's shoe collection is worth a reported $150,000. She's "a massive fan of Marc Jacobs" and "commissioned a pair of Louboutins for her a while back." This has been your daily reminder that 5-year-old Suri has a better life than you do. [Star via Hollywood Life, Celebitchy]
  • Everyone thought Hayden Panettiere's new gigantic athlete boyfriend was New York Jets player Mark Sanchez, but it's actually New York Jets player Scotty McKnight. Girl's got a type. Us]
  • Lady Gaga's bodyguard roughed up a guest who took her picture at the CFDAs: "He pushed the guy up the stairs, grabbed his phone and threw it, then dragged him back up onto the roof." When Gaga noticed what was going on, she said "What are you doing? Leave him alone," and "looked embarrassed and shook her head." [P6]
  • Also at the CFDAs: Nicky Hilton got wasted, danced wildly, and "kept putting her clutch purse down and forgetting where she'd left it, then getting angry thinking somebody had taken it," eventually ending up "crawling around on the floor looking for something" at 4AM. Between this and yesterday's item about Nicky doing the robot on a dancefloor in Atlantic City, girl's on a roll, no? [P6]
  • Chris Evans: "I have no problem saying this, but I'm losing my hair." If the Captain America franchise lasts, this could be problematic: "I'm supposed to be like this superior human. He can't be balding. How horrible would it be if this superior man has male pattern baldness?" Balding men: Now is the time for you to stand up and proclaim your scalp inferior to none! Viva la revolucion de baldness! [Us]
  • Emma Watson Can't Get a Date to Save Her LifeBlake Lively and Leonardo DiCaprio are in Italy now, in fair Verona, where Blake photographed Leo posing as though he were on the prow of the Titanic. Between this and the Disneyland visit, maybe they're reenacting his career step by step? Look out, Blake, when you get to The Aviator, it's going to get awkward. Stick it out to J. Edgar, you get to watch him make out with Armie Hammer, though. [Radar, image via INF]
  • Snooki broke up with boyfriend of eight months. [Us]
  • Dakota Fanning graduated from high school. She plans to enroll at NYU—the university of choice for celebrities destined to drop out because they are too famous—in the fall. [Us]
  • After watching Rihanna's "Man Down" music video—which depicts the flame-haired singer murdering a rapist—Gabrielle Union tweeted about trying to kill a stranger who raped her when she was a teen store clerk: "He put his gun dwn durin the rape & asked me 2 had it 2 him. Over the yrs I realized tht killin my rapist wouldve added insult 2 injury. The DESIRE 2 kill someone whose abused/raped u is understandable bt unless its self defense n the moment 2 save ur life, just ADDS 2 ur troubles." Really weird to imagine her typing what she wanted to say, then going back and removing vowels so it'd fit in the 140-character tweet limit. [@ItsGabrielleU, NYDN]
  • Jason Mraz's fiancee left him: "My greatest mistake right now is, I've been clinging to my art. In that, I have victory for my art and a great loss for my heart. At the moment, my beautiful fiancee is no longer my beautiful fiancee." [Daily Beast]
  • Eminem is back to rap-attacking his peers, but the references are a little dated. Apparently he's stuck on the Lady Gaga penis thing: "Tell Lady Gaga she can quit her job at the post office / She's still a male lady." Bieber's relationship with God also rankles: "Him don't give a damn about Bieber, do Him? / What a demon, a behemoth, evil just seems to be seeping through him." [LATimes]
  • Jennifer Connelly gave birth to her third child with husband Paul Bettany, a little girl named Agnes Lark Bettany. Mazel tov! [Us]