Man Carrying Dead Weasel Commits Funniest Crime of YearS

What would you do if a man holding a dead weasel burst into your apartment? By all accounts, one resident of Hoquiam, Wash. played it cool when confronted with that very problem:

The victim asked, "Why are you carrying a weasel?" Police said the attacker said, "It's not a weasel, it's a marten," then punched him in the nose and fled.

He left the marten with his victim. Not that the distinction is necessary: "The marten," the AP helpfully reminds us, "is a member of the weasel family." (Sort of: Both are members of the family Mustelidae, which is sometimes called the weasel family; "true" weasels [example above, right] are genus Mustela while martens [above, left] are genus Martes. Alas, the conversation in Hoquiam never got this far.)

The suspect was later found arguing with his girlfriend, for whom he had been searching when he entered the apartment. He told police he'd found the animal, dead, "near Hoquiam," but did not give a reason for taking it with him.

[AP; images via Shutterstock]