A Guide to Kim Kardashian's Tacky Wedding Registry

Kim Kardashian and fiance Kris Humphries went shopping for their wedding registry at Gearys yesterday, a store that specializes in severe lampshades and angry-looking napkin rings. Come, let us tour the online registry for their Wedding of the Century. We seem to have a Wedding of the Century every month now, no? [Image via Bauer-Griffin]

A Guide to Kim Kardashian's Tacky Wedding Registry

At $6500, "the Black Tourbillion vase from Lalique is the epitome of elegance." It resembles a piece of charcoal.

By contrast, "Ingrid Black Vase from Lalique" ($4625) looks like a kindergartener's pencil grip, the rubbery kind that has fingerprint-shaped divets so you learn how to hold your pencil correctly.

And the Baccarat Abysse Small Onyx Vase ($1600) is normal, if a bit severe.

A Guide to Kim Kardashian's Tacky Wedding Registry

Ugliest items: The "New York Clock - Black," "Cactus Flacon #2," and these statuettes of naked men curling up in tantrum balls.

A Guide to Kim Kardashian's Tacky Wedding Registry

Kim's dish choices are Hermès, from the esteemed Parisian company's "Patterns appropriate for armband tattoos" collection.

A Guide to Kim Kardashian's Tacky Wedding Registry

At $7850, the Baccarat Cosmos Extra Large Vase is Kim's most expensive Gearys item. The cheapest items are $12 napkins, but there were no pictures of those, so here are the $22 napkins, instead.

A Guide to Kim Kardashian's Tacky Wedding Registry

Though often questionable in taste, the types of items in Kim's registry are pretty normal. Turns out comically opulent consumption-bots have material needs similar to those of normal humans. (Utensils to feed themselves, vessels for holding things.) Their superfluous wedding crap is more ornate and expensive, is all.

Pictured here: 1925 Tea Set, Aleotto Natural Agate Napkin Ring" ($32.50), Torchon Sterling Silver utensils ($520 - $1250), Baccarat Vega Goblets" ($120 - 130).