PR Firm Offers Strategists, Creators, Connectors, and Catalysts of Bullshit

Traditionally, job titles at PR firms work like this: the lowliest slaves who are forced to cold-call angry reporters and write unread press releases all day are called "account executives," and everyone else is a "VP" of one sort or another, whether or not they are actually in charge of anything, or competent.

Not any more! One brave PR firm is unafraid to rearrange its metaphorical deck chairs, in a desperate attempt to "rebrand" the description of what it is they do all day, which is fundamentally "hustle suckers." (Note: rebranding is an annual rite at most PR firms.) At the massive international PR agency GolinHarris, AEs and VPs are no more; Everything Is Different Now:

The four [new job titles] are strategists, who analyze a client's business; creators, people like writers, designers and producers who generate ideas and tell brand stories; connectors, people who reach target audiences through traditional and social media as well as other channels; and catalysts, account leaders overseeing relationships with clients.

I'm starting a PR firm where the four job titles are Apple, Cherry, Banana, and Grape. Accountants are Apples, people who write stuff are Cherries, the janitors are Bananas, and the receptionists are Grapes. The interns are Pomegranates and the electricians are Apricots and the video people are Lemons and the tech people are Oranges, but of course we don't consider those part of the "Big Four" in our client-driven strategy of the future.

GolinHarris's CEO "referred to the agency's strategy as 'prevolving.'" LOL. Really, this is all quite amazing.

[NYT]