Pad Thai Beatdown Verdict: Opera Singer Acquitted

Thanks to the tireless reporting of the New York Post's legal correspondents, we learned the vivid details of this one time that some rich people fought over the last Pad Thai in a Manhattan Trader Joe's frozen food aisle. And now we have the verdict: opera singer Marcella Caprario has been acquitted of all charges. In honor of this monumental verdict, let's revisit the Post's play-by-play of the January "fight" between Caprario and Dr. Catherine London:

"She told me, 'Get the f-k away from me,'" London, a family practitioner and frequent TV talking head, told a Manhattan judge of her alleged attacker's supposedly off-color coloratura performance just before the slap.

The lyrics were recalled by London only in part, but apparently included a recurring liet motif of, 'Get the f-k away you b—h."

"She said, 'Get the f-k away you b—h, you f—-g b—h',' " London testified. "She just kept saying, 'Back off, back the f-k off, you b—h.' She just kept repeating things like that."

What are the odds that a yoga mat was involved, too?

[The one thing worth fighting for, via Flickr user pinprick]