Women: can we talk about your flaws, for once? I mean really. Hey, how about the way women drive? Have you seen this? Totally outta control. Science, can I get some backup here?
A University of Michigan study of 6.5 million two-car collisions found that crashes in which both drivers were women are more common than those in which both drivers were men.
Christ, that's just common sense. Think about what one woman is like driving—then double it! I'm surprised the authorities allow more than one woman on a road at once, honestly. There's a reason Mario Andretti don't wear high heels, amirite?
But seriously though, women are smart. And equal, in the eyes of the law! We still let em drive, regardless! It's all about equality! Women have their own money these days. They can even invest it, bless their hearts.
The study supported previous findings that women [investors] tend to make more. A 2005 study by Merrill Lynch found that 35% of women held an investment too long, compared with 47% of men. Moreover, an academic study in 2009 found women made 1% more annually.
So it's agreed: we'll do the driving, and you do the investing. And then when the investing is done, give us the money and we'll buy a new car to drive.
Because at the end of the day, we are the boss of you.