It turns out there's a reason your iPhone has been stalking you: It might use your private data to hook you up with nearby iPhone owners. And you thought your mom was an awkward matchmaker.
An Apple patent application details a "Buddy Finder" system that would allow you to get suggestions of like-minded Apple users nearby, and then create an unholy "ad hoc network" with one of them. This opt-in service would draw on a log of your past movements, media purchases, etc:
Common interests and experiences of two or more users located close to each other can be identified from... activities performed on the mobile device (e.g., songs downloaded), a trajectory of the mobile device (e.g., places traveled), or other public data available from the mobile device (e.g., pictures shared).
Now we know why our iPhones have been recording our every move.
Once you've established a connection with to your most compatible Apple buddy, you may initiate the "icebreaker" popup for a suggestion on what to talk about. Any awkward pauses in robo-conversation can be ended by clicking the "Now What Shall We Talk About..." button (yes, that's an actual button shown in the patent application). In the event your iPhone dies, here's a list of topics: J. Crew, Starbucks, Apple.