What's Opening in Theaters This Weekend

Another superhero comes crashing into the multiplexes this weekend, but he's not the only game in town. Also debuting are a horse whisperer, a struggling major newspaper, and a whole bunch of penguins.

The Art of Getting By

Emma Roberts and Freddie Highmore star in this lamely by-the-numbers indie about a weird, thoughtful boy hooking up with a weird, thoughtful girl in the big alienating city. She teaches him how not to be so disaffected and he teachers her to... Well, the hes never seem to teach the shes much of anything in these movies, do they? Sigh. (How disaffected of me!) (Limited release)


The Battle for Brooklyn

A documentary about the massive (largest in borough history) and massively hated Atlantic Yards development project, The Battle for Brooklyn tells a story that has already been told in live theatrical form and on blogs for years. Not that it's not worth talking about! It definitely is. But it also seems like it's been talked about so much. At least for people who live her. Maybe it could be interesting to outsiders who aren't familiar with the saga, so it's too bad that it's only playing in (NY)


Buck

A Sundance documentary about a real-life horse whisperer, one of an often strange and brooding breed of cowboys. There's no Robert Redford, no Kristin Scott Thomas, no Scarlett Johansson, no Sam Neill or Dianne Wiest even! What on Earth is the point?? I mean, really. (Limited)


The Green Lantern

Ryan Reynolds stars in this cartoonish superhero caper that, I predict (and did predict a month or so ago), will be the summer's first big bomb. I mean, it could do well obviously, but have you spoken to anyone who's interested in seeing it? I sure haven't. Granted I don't hang out with any 13-year-old boys, but still. No one I know wants to see it. Even ironically! That's a bad sign in New York, man. Bad sign. (Super wide)


Jig

Ha! This looks great. Jig is a documentary in the vein of King of Kong or Spellbound, in that it's about a subset of people who care deeply about competing in a strange and rarefied arena. In this case we're talking Irish dancing. Everyone heads to Glasgow and real-life human drama unfolds. Looks great! Plus the word "jig" is wonderful, always. (Limited)


Kidnapped

This Spanish (forgive the terrible dubbing in the trailer) thriller is yet another in the increasingly long line of brutal home invasion movies. Why does anyone want to watch these? From The Strangers to Funny Games, they're all immensely miserable. I know that was the point of Funny Games, asking us why we watch such misery all the time, but good god. No thanks, everyone. No thanks forever. (NY)


Mr. Popper's Penguins

Jim Carrey stars in this uplifting story about a gay sex shop owner who is rescued from a life of disappointment and ennui when he winds up having to coach his nephew's peewee hockey team. Right? That's what this is about, right? It couldn't possibly be about a businessman who inherits actual living penguins and that's the whole movie, right? There's no possible way. (Wide)


Page One: Inside the New York Times

Watch Gawker singlehandedly destroy the print newspaper industry in this hilarious documentary about a stupid newspaper that thinks it's cool or something. Whatever. We're the internet, we rock. Stupid newspapers. We showed them, huh? How dare they work hard to write original content that we then link to and make fun of, for profit? Stupid idiots. (NY)


R

This well-reviewed prison drama from Denmark follows a young man convicted of drug dealing navigating the harrowing world of maximum security prison. In Denmark, though. Like little blonde pansy prison Denmark. Like where that whiny little bitch Hamlet's from. So, no big deal. (Except for the murders and hot oil scaldings and stuff. Except for that.) (NY)