Patriotic Americans everywhere rushed home from church yesterday afternoon in order to tune into the "U.S. Open" golf tournament, knowing that god, in his infinite beneficence, would understand that enthusiasm for the "U.S. Open" is part and parcel of doing His work. Imagine their shock, then, when the NBC broadcasting network failed to include the words "under god" in their introductory segment for the "U.S. Open"—which, naturally, was a sickeningly sweet montage of pseudo-patriotic images up to and including American soldiers toting around carefully folded U.S. flags, as schoolchildren reverently recited the Pledge of Allegiance. Sickeningly patriotic, yes; but not sickeningly religious. To recap: Innocent, golf-loving American children were subjected, against their will, to a television montage of relentlessly patriotic symbology that did not include the words "under god" in its rote reenactment of our national indoctrination rites.
Just hours later, NBC issued an on-air apology for forcing American golf-on-television viewers to endure a hypnotic and ultimately nonsensical forced injection of slavish kowtowing to the most hollow and saccharine of conservative values that did not also feature an image of well-trained children who don't know any better paying reverence to an imaginary deity that they could never hope to understand. It won't happen again.
This item probably deserves some sarcasm, but it's too early in the morning.