Rick Perry: Protector of All Genitalia

Noted secessionist and Governor of Texas Rick Perry still has your junk on his mind. Previously, the Texas Senate tried and failed to outlaw the TSA's enhanced pat downs in airports across the state after the Justice Department basically told them to fuck off. But Perry won't let go, and he has added legislation to a special session of the state senate that would criminalize "intrusive touching" by TSA employees. Lt. Governor David Dewhurst told the Houston Chronicle, "Addressing unreasonable and unlawful searches of innocent travelers by some TSA employees is an issue that affects all Texans who use air travel, and it should not wait until next Session."

They take care of the important stuff down there in Texas.

[Image via Getty]