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Here's a news broadcast from Denver that tells the harrowing tale of a family whose glass-top patio table from the Martha Stewart Living collection spontaneously exploded, showering them with glass. Horrifying! And not the first time this has happened.
Martha Stewart's glass tables have been exploding for years now. It's a terrible problem! Meanwhile, Martha Stewart Living chairs have been chopping people's fingers off, so basically everything you own from that collection is trying to kill you. Much like Martha Stewart herself. You weren't imagining it. She really was there that night, staring in through the kitchen window, judging your cooking while clutching a butcher knife. Beware!