Lonely Octomom to Star on Dating Show

Lock up your testicles. Octomom Nadya Suleman is on the prowl and bringing her love life into your living room, via a dating show on world's randomest cable network HDNet.

Celebridate will feature regular people vying for the hearts of "celebrities." Why would anyone compete for the right to date Octomom? Even she isn't sure:

I was lucky enough to be invited to be a part of it. I have not watched TV in almost a decade, but I might just tune into this one! This is called 'Celebridate' and I don't perceive myself to be a celebrity, but I guess they do. To a certain degree, I am in the public eye.

Then, the conversation gets sad. Octomom seems lonely:

I've never dated. This is actually the first time I have dated in my life. I've had one boyfriend, it was very fascinating to me; it was an unforgettable experience. I am painfully shy and anxious .. that's just my personality. So it's difficult for me to interact and to have eye contact.

Difficulty making eye contact? Is this the same lady whose distended belly staged a hostile takeover of the news cycle in 2009? The lady who pitched multiple reality shows (including another, unrealized dating show) and violated child labor laws pimping her baby freakshow? Raising 14 kids on welfare must really crush the spirit.

Either that, or she's been disconnected and lonely all this time, popping out babies to fill the voids in her emotional life. Instead of eating her feelings, she fertilized them. [Popeater, image via Pacific Coast News]