Presidential candidate Herman Cain is furious at "idiotic reporters" who mocked his line that he wouldn't sign any bills longer than three pages. He was exaggerating! He didn't actually mean three pages when he said, quote, "three pages." Why didn't, say, Jon Stewart understand this? Because he's racist, very very racist.

Via Think Progress, here, after a long windup, is what Cain shared with an audience in Iowa:

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I did an interview on Sean Hannity's show on the way over here. I had been traveling the campaign so much I did not hear what Jon Stewart said on Chris Wallace's Sunday morning show last Sunday. Where he was mocking my three page bills. Did you see that show? And then he mocked me with a, you know, Amos and Andy type brogue. And Sean said you didn't see that? And I said no Sean, I didn't see that, I'm out campaigning. And so they played the clip. And I said well Sean first of all if he really thinks that I'm serious about a bill only being three pages the joke's on him. And I said secondly, as far as him mocking me, look I've been called every name in the book because I'm a conservative, because I'm black.

Sticks and stone may break my bones, words are not going to hurt me. I was on that radio show because a happen to be an American black conservative. I labeled my self. I'm an American Black Conservative, an A-B-C. They keep trying to put labels on me. I have been called "Uncle Tom," "sell out," "Oreo," "shameless." So the fact that he wants to mock me because I happen to be a black conservative, in the words of my Grandfather, "I does not care. I does not care."

It's doubtful that Jon Stewart made fun of Herman Cain for this dumb three-page line because of race. But if white comedians are going to attempt anything even approaching a "black voice," they better be sure it's executed perfectly. In other words: Don't.