It'll Take More Than Crushing Debt to Stop Us From Going Into More DebtS

Good news on the national debt competition front (it is a competition, yes? Check this): the size of America's national debt will soon equal the entire size of our annual economy! I'm no "certified economist" or "New Yorker term-coiner," but I believe the official name for this economic period is "The Tipping Point." Think of it as the gateway to fun!

The boring Congressional Budget Office is talking about the possibility of some "sudden fiscal crisis" from all this debt, but let's be honest: this is America, and we can't hear you. We haven't had any sudden fiscal crisis yet, except for that recent one, so why would we start now? When the pencil-pushers "inside the Beltway" wake up and leave Wall Street and come on down to "Main Street," they'll learn that there's a very good reason that we have all that debt—we're broke. How are we supposed to buy shit, without debt? The fact that "the Fed" is pessimistic doesn't worry us much, here on Main Street. We don't know what "the Fed" is, to be completely honest. We do know that our good-for-shit teenagers can't find jobs this summer, and that means all the Fruity Pebbles and rent money is coming out of our meager checks. A teeny little dip in gas prices ain't gonna cut it. We need to buy things, buddy; that means we need debt. More and more debt, until we die in debt, at which point we win. It has always been thus. We're proud of that big national debt, in the same way we're proud of our scars. It shows that we're still kicking. For the moment.

There's probably a piece to be done about the role of "Wall Street" in all of this, but the Wall Street Journal gave all the op-ed space today to a scary tale of how poor people are taking too many food stamps. Maybe tomorrow.

[Photo: AP]