Ron Artest is sick of his name. (Wouldn't you be? Does he look like a Ron? Rons work in accounting, they aren't star forwards for the Lakers.) The LA Times has copies of the legal paperwork filed to officially change his name to "Metta World Peace."
Let's try it out, and see how it feels.
"Metta, over here! I'm open! I'm open! Metta. METTA! What the f*ck, Metta, I said I was open."
"Metta World Peace, do not interrupt when your wife is talking to you."
"World Peace, party of four, your Nobu table is ready."