Brady Bunch matriarch, star dancer, and Wesson-pusher Florence Henderson reveals in her new memoir that back in the 1960s she had a thing with late NYC mayor John Lindsay and ended up with a case of the "little black things," otherwise known as baby spiders.
Ha ha no, just kidding—they were actually pubic lice, or "crabs." Strangely, these gifted pets did not lead Henderson to instantly fall in love with Lindsay, who ruled o'er NYC from 1966-1973:
"Guess I learned the hard way that crabs do not discriminate but cross over all socioeconomic strata," Henderson writes. "He must have had quite the active life. What a way to put the kibosh on a relationship."
Henderson—who was married at the time—says she got together with Lindsay (who died in 2000, and couldn't be reached for comment) because she was "lonely." But he was also a looker: even the New York Daily News had a crush on him, and a former buildings commissioner once described him as "one of the most attractive and hottest political properties of his time." When she discovered the crab-things, she told Lindsay and he "sent her flowers and a note of apology," which was nice of him. (Did she frame the note and put it on her wall, in her office? Probably not?)
Comparing this to Anthony Weinergate, one could say that politician-centric sex scandals have gotten better with time. Say what you will about Twitpics, but at least they don't require a doctor's visit.