Accused Shoplifter Demonstrates Least-Effective Way to Evade Cops

On Wednesday, Ashlie Marie Carter allegedly stole some underpants and other junk from an Orem, Utah store and evaded the long arm of the law. On Thursday, she showed up to court for an unrelated, alleged misdeed, and basically ran into the long arms of the law—which warmly embraced her.

At the Provo courthouse, Carter was recognized and arrested for the Wednesday shoplifting incident. For whatever reason, she decided against trying out the "it must have been somebody wearing a rubber Ashlie Marie Carter mask and stealing those underpants" defense, and instead called her mom to return the stolen goods after authorities said that doing so would help her case. Now she sits in jail on $7,500 bail, which rhymes.

In other bad-at-shoplifting news, British guy Stephen Kirkbride came to court wearing the same jacket he supposedly "nicked," to use the parlance of his people, and was found guilty. Apparently Kirkbride's tale of how he acquired his fancy-and-functional gore-tex jacket was so flimsy that the prosecutor asked him, "You're making this up as you go along, aren't you?" As part of his punishment Kirkbride had to surrender the coat and will now spend his summer days being cold (or in jail, depending on his sentence).

[Daily Herald, Daily Mail. Image by Steve Lovegrove/via Shutterstock]