Well, isn't this how it always happens. Just as we were finished up the third draft of Queen and Country, our adaptation of the mysterious stabbing death of maybe-gay MI6 agent Gareth Williams, it turns out he probably wasn't murdered by a gay lover and stuffed and locked inside a duffle bag as part of an elaborate sex game! The new theory, the Daily Mail reports, or, really, posits, is that Williams was killed by the Russian mafia, on whom he may have been spying as part of a top-secret mission concerning money laundering.
Prior to the gay lover theory, of course, was the theory that Williams had stabbed himself, and then climbed into the duffle bag in which he was found, zipping it up and padlocking it from within before dying. Williams' family does not believe, the Daily Mail reports innocently, "that their fitness-fanatic son was gay."