Last week, America was captivated by the heartwarming story of an unidentified drifter who hid inside a porta potty—like, inside, a porta potty—at a yoga festival in order to watch women, well, you know. Well! The gentleman has been found, and arrested. His name is Luke Chrisco, alias, Skye Oryan, and he began peeping while "living in the woods in France years ago." Shall we hear what he has to say, courtesy the Daily Camera and KDVR?

  • On why he was spying on women in France: "I got bored and I guess a little horny"
  • On his failed attempts to start non-profit escort services and porn sites while living in a hostel in Boulder: "I wanted to start a new goddess religion... I always wanted to be a pimp or create a church of porn or a church of tantric, someplace people could be spiritual but also instinctual."
  • On what compelled him to hide inside the porta potty: "I was at the yoga festival, doing a little bit of yoga, and I'm just seeing all these goddesses... It seems crazy, but I just felt like I was being blessed by their energy, even though it was unintentional."
  • On what he was thinking while inside the porta potty: "I thought, 'This is really amazing; I've been blessed and anointed by the makers of life.'"
  • On the conditions inside the porta potty: "There's bacteria in there, but to me it's just normal...we all have bodily fluids... It seems terrible, but it didn't actually smell that bad or anything. I still would have done it even if it smelled a little weird, because where there is muck, there is gold."
  • On, uh, his... spiritual beliefs, and the, I guess, exercise thereof (?): "I'll be honest, it was a lifestyle that I was living... just by choice trying to find my private way to exercise my spiritual beliefs. I made a vow to myself...that I never wanted to frighten any girl. I would rather put a gun to my head than scare anyone or hurt anyone. That's how I live my life."

According to the police, Chrisco put peepholes "in the restrooms of several local businesses," all of which are sealed up now.

[Daily Camera; KDVR]