This week the Chinese are celebrating their Communist Party's 90th by buying it a sentimental birthday card, taking it out to Shoney's for the breakfast buffet, then swinging by J.C. Penney to get it a nice new cardigan sweater and some comfortable slippers.
Okay, not really. Actually, on Friday China's holding a gigantic bash in Beijing that includes synchronized dancing, patriotic films, lots of socialist realist imagery, and at least one supersized peanut prop. Check out these pics for a taste of what's to come.
[Image via Getty]
As a gesture of goodwill, President Barack Obama lent his favorite White House lawn ornament for the occasion. [Image via Getty]
This picture has more red flags than _______. [Image via Getty]
This gala show's about a revolutionary who finds a lantern full of collectivist genies who, when released, grant the top three wishes of the people: seizure of the means of production, the end of wage labor and private property, and pet ponies. [Image via Getty]
Even some of the classes at the local Bally's Total Fitness are getting into the celebratory swing of things. This flexible fellow is the instructor, natch. [Image via Getty]
"Red Cloth, you've come home! We thought you'd never return after you ran off to Vegas to elope with that dipshit, old what's-his-name." [Image via Getty]
The gigantic projected guys on the right are like, "oh look, little dancing people. If we could bust out of this screen, we could eat them." [Image via Getty]
Some people get a big peanut all to themselves, while others have to share the pumpkin. And then there are those who have to hold grapes above their heads, which is semi-glamorous but also hurts your arms. That's life. [Image via Getty]
Tea Party protesters (those signs are all misspelled). [Image via Getty]
Aw, that little boy on the far left looks so bored. Well, wait till he sees what China does for the Party's centennial. [Image via Getty]