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Glenn Beck absolutely will not shut up about The Time A Woman Accidentally Spilled Wine On His Wife! On Wednesday he spent a full 10 minutes on his radio show tearing into a moviegoer who says he's greatly exaggerated his family's brush with death at an outdoor movie.
Yesterday, Glenn Beck tearfully recounted on his show how he and his family (oh, and his security detail) were hounded by a pack of angry liberals while they tried to watch an outdoor movie in New York's Bryant Park Monday night. But a woman who was sitting right behind Beck during the movie, 26-year-old New Yorker Lindsey Piscitell, disputes his sob story—specifically, the part where someone "purposefully kicked" a glass wine onto his wife. It was her friend who spilled the wine, and it was totally an accident!
"It was a non-event," she tells us in an interview. "Wine was spilled. It was absolutely 100% an accident. We all—everybody—grabbed napkins and apologized profusely."
When Piscitell emailed us and a few other publications yesterday with her side of the story, she thought she was just setting the record straight. Little did she know she was actually declaring war on all of Glenn Beckistan.
Today Glenn Beck's website, The Blaze, posted a long article about Piscitell. Piscitell "claims innocence," the article says, "but what does Twitter Tell us?" The post digs up some of her old, bad poetry, for some reason, and goes on to argue that she and her friend were engaged in a liberal conspiracy to drive Glenn Beck out of New York.
(Piscitell's Twitter tells us, by the way, that she was tweeting mean stuff about Glenn Beck while sitting behind him and one of her Twitter followers joked to her that she should "accidentally" spill something on him. And since everything on Twitter is the 100% literal truth, this proves that a gang of internet NYC liberals conspired to kidnap Glenn Beck's family that fateful night on the Bryant Park lawn and hold them ransom for a lifetime supply of quinoa and Kombucha.)
Glenn Beck called out Piscitell on his show today for 10 full minutes, and if there's one thing Glenn Beck fans like better than gold, it's firing off angry, incoherent emails, so Piscitell has been getting a lot of those with subjects like "GET A LIFE YOU LOSER CUNT" and messages like "It is with great pleasure I informed your mother that abortion is a right! You should have been aborted a$$hole!~" Some especially adventurous fans have set up fake profiles for her on Ashley Madison and Adult FriendFinder, she tells us.
But Piscitell says she stands by her version of events, and denies she's one of the shadowy enemies that Glenn Beck is convinced haunt him at all times.
"I don't hate Glenn Beck. I don't care enough about Glenn Beck to hate him. I hate the way he portrayed us. I hate that he lied about us. Frankly, if I hated Glenn Beck that much I would have gotten up and left the movie."
Looks like it's Piscitell's word against Glenn Beck's. Let's see, do we believe the random New Yorker who happens to not like Glenn Beck, or a guy who gets paid more in an hour than we will in our lifetime to spin stupid nothings like this into premium-level bullshit?