Here's a new, more expositiony trailer for The Three Musketeers, the action-packed "adaptation" of Alexandre Dumas' literary classic.

Obvs "adaptation" is in quotes as this movie seems to only use the same character names from the book and then go off on its own Matrix-y tangent. (I mean, I don't see a candy bar anywhere!) Sure Milady de Winter does kill a couple people in the book, but she's certainly not Lara Croft or the lady from Resident Evil, who is played by Mila Jovovich same as in this movie. (Her husband directed it.) And did little Lord Fauntleroy Bloom have airboats? No! No he did not.

But that's all boring griping about adaptative purity and whatnot and that's not what this particular movie is about. It's about cool slo-mo action and about Logan Lerman's terrible wig. Lerman is one of my choices for Next Big Thing actor, but I'm afraid I just can't support him if he's wearing wigs like that. And if that's his real hair? Yikes.

Anyway, this is going to be terrible right? And you will totally watch it when it's on TNT or Spike or whatever and you are hungover and eating a something involving melted cheese? OK, we're on the same page then. It's not a page from a Dumas novel, that's for sure, but it's a page nonetheless.