Finding a way to assess a man's penis size with all of his clothes on has long been the holy grail of, well, anyone with a vested interest in penis size. The old standbys — hand, foot and nose sizes — have been discredited as viable indicators, the LA Times reports. (Though I'm not so sure if I buy that.) But a team of Korean researchers think they have at last unlocked the elusive Hung Code, and the answer lies in comparing the lengths of the index and ring fingers.
Led by urologist Dr. Tae Beom Kim, a team of doctors studied 144 men who were undergoing urological surgeries that had no impact on the length of their penises. This is where their methodology becomes a little questionable:
One member of the team carefully measured the lengths of the index and ring fingers on the subject's right hand before surgery — left hands are thought to be more variable. A second team member then measured penis length immediately after the subject had been anesthetized. The length was measured both when the penis was flaccid and when it had been stretched as much as possible. Stretched length is thought to correlate to erect length, the team wrote. The team found that, in general, the lower the ratio of the lengths of the two fingers, the longer the stretched length of the penis.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's back up there for a second. First of all, were these anaesthetized patients aware that their genitals were being stretched and measured while they were under? And, assuming they had signed off on this procedure, are we really sure that stretching out the penis skin correlates to erect length? Couldn't they have just found 144 men who'd be willing to have their boners measured, in exchange for, oh, I don't know, a plate of Nutter Butters? Guys love measuring their erections! Well, hung guys do. I guess that would have skewed the results considerably to the far less compelling, "Study: All Korean Men Enormously Endowed, Regardless of Finger Length." [LA Times, photo via Shutterstock]