What Our Kids Need Now Is Less SchoolS

In our crazy mixed-up classist system in which poor kids can't even afford homework while rich kids spend endlessly on fancy tutors and private schools only to end up dumb, isn't it time we just gave up?

On the whole "school" thing, I mean. If it's expensive and it doesn't even work, let's at least save the cash, amirite? It just makes good sense. Channel these squandered "school" funds into something productive, like... desperately trying to stave off municipal bankruptcy. America agrees: school is no longer "cool."

Los Angeles slashed its budget for summer classes to $3 million from $18 million last year, while Philadelphia, Milwaukee and half the school districts in North Carolina have deeply cut their programs or zeroed them out. A scattering of rural districts in New Mexico, Idaho and other states will be closed on Fridays or Mondays come September. And in California, where some 600 of the 1,100 local districts have shortened the calendar by up to five days over the past two years, lawmakers last week authorized them to cut seven days more if budgets get tighter.

School isn't free. But not having school is free! If Americans understood math any more, they'd understand that this one's a no-brainer. Why waste money on classrooms and teachers and whatnot when all that information is inevitably going to be wiped away by video games and ketamine within a matter of months?

It's just as easy to homosexually indoctrinate kids while hanging out in a Wendy's parking lot.

[NYT; photo via Shutterstock]