Ron Gordon, a retired teacher from Redwood City, California, says we should celebrate today, 07/09/11, as "Odd Day," because it's "one of only six dates this century that features three consecutive odd numbers." He's even set up a website and a prize-money contest to celebrate.
Acting "odd" comes naturally to some people, be it for environmental reasons or genetic ones or their enthusiastic ingestion of tequila (a reliable catalyst for many would-be eccentrics). Others, however, expend tremendous amounts of energy engineering their oddness to seem effortless. If you're more likely to be categorized as part of the latter group, or just someone for whom "odd" doesn't come automatically, you might not know how to handle today appropriately. And you're running out of time: It's already the dinner hour, almost. Panic! (Apologies for the late notice; our "Cowboy Hunks" wall calendar didn't mention this special day.)
Is there some kind of oddness instruction manual you can follow in a pinch? Well, here's at least one helpful Wikihow, which recommends "spazzing" and maiming your face. Another Wikihow for more advanced weirdos suggests wearing mismatched clothes, though this won't actually work because everyone will just assume you're relevant.
Gordon's got a few suggestions, such as "do your odds 'n ends" and "watch The Odd Couple," but those possibilities just seem like things a relatively normal retired man in northern California might do.
To collect some truly original ideas for "odd" and potentially prize-winning pursuits, all you really have to do is scan recent news headlines. Check out these options:
- Act like winter when you're really summer
- Become a Walmart, where the WSJ says rat-like creatures and alligators roam freely, and men glue themselves to toilets
- Dip your weed in embalming fluid and see how you react (especially appropriate for kids)
- Turn into a magnetic boy and ask people to stick their casserole pots on you
- Put a snake in your ex-friend's mailbox and a dead skunk in his grill, then see if you can get the friend to shoot you
- Be a noise that no one can identify
- Have an affair with a lighthouse (best if you're a lighthouse)
- You can also try licking your shoes in a crowded public area, though you'll never become as proficient as the guy in the video
Seriously, the possibilities are endless. Just listen to your gut and try to go with something that feels right. You could win "$791.1"!