Newsweek's New Sarah Palin Article: The Highlights

Long-form commercial star and potential presidential candidate Sarah Palin appears on the cover of the upcoming Newsweek wearing her favorite comfy sweatshirt. It's not a Real-American sweatshirt, because it lacks an American flag applique—but hey, let's not fuss! Fussing over fashion is elitist.

The special sporty cover announces Newsweek's brand-new profile of Palin, which covers old ground plus some new tidbits and insights regarding her "next moves." Because you might be too sick of The Palin by now to read any lengthy articles about her, here are some highlights:

  • "I believe that I can win a national election," she says. She doesn't specify in which nation, though! Maybe she means "in Wasillaland."
  • She says she won't run for president if her family doesn't want her to, but they probably won't try to stop her from running. Therefore, she'll probably run.
  • The only question-mark Palin seems to be Todd, but he's noticed that his wife's "got a fire in the belly to serve." The only thing that will extinguish that fire: becoming president of the United States for at least two years, maybe longer.
  • "We don't advertise where we're going," Palin says about Todd and herself. They're reserved people.
  • Palin didn't show up for the premiere of The Undefeated, the documentary that director Steve Bannon made about her, until about an hour before showtime, leaving everyone to wonder where in the hell she was. She really liked the movie, though! Nothing personal.
  • She and Todd rent Chevy Malibus.
  • This: "'Do people not understand why McCain picked me?' she said with some exasperation."
  • A female Palin volunteer who lives in Texas has put off having a social life and house-plant ownership just so she can travel to Iowa "every weekend" and spread the gospel of Palinism.
  • She'd ditch the Department of Energy.

So now you can keep up your end of any "Sarah Palin cover story" party conversations that might arise over the next few days, without risking a serious case of vertigo or heartburn.

[ Newsweek, Image via Newsweek's Twitter feed]